The Conflict and Its Resolution
I had learned how to control my anger after refusing to engage in an argument with my supervisor over a patient is the family of a patient complained of having been given the wrong drugs due to file exchange by an intern. They threatened to sue the hospital if nothing was done. They demanded compensation from the hospital. They needed the hospital to provide free care for the patient. I decided to approach the family later and asked them to reconsider. The intern who was also going to be deferred from the hospital, I requested that the Board allow him a second chance and that it was all my fault. I paid for the rest of the hospital expenses of the patient.
Controlling my anger during the scolding by the boss made me realize I could save a lot rather than my previous experience of engaging in heated arguments especially in the early mornings. I was able to hold myself quietly even if the supervisor called me names. These made me see the perspective I had never noticed before. The only magic I realized is mentioning the word “sorry”. That made a lot of difference this morning .this made me realize what I had never learned before. The noble action of giving the intern a second chance made him realize the how important it was to handle patients record with care.
I wish I had not gone to work late this morning. The right file was just in my locker, the wrong file wouldn’t have made the patient get the wrong treatment. I said sorry but I think I am able to do more by getting the patient family and apologizing to them too. The apology to the supervisor isn’t enough. I should have well talked to the patient, maybe he would understand that the family would. I wouldn’t have paid the hospital bill. I would have extended appreciations you to the board who allowed the intern to continue operating at the hospital.
The reaction I gave to the supervisor changed a lot. His perspective of the hard person whom he knew me to be has changed. It also changed my perspective on managing my anger. I learned that every time we angry about something, the best decision is to always about.
I realize that anger is not the best way to tackle issues at all times, there are other better ways to tackle issues other than the aggressive ways that I had previously used. The apology brought more understanding and bonding within the work environment.
Controlling Anger in the Workplace
I also learned that from today henceforth. I am going to tackle my anger issues alone. I won’t transfer my mood problems from my house to the workplace. The incident opened my eyes to how simple actions can have a great impact on the problems that people face.
I realized I was dealing with the main issue which was a personal conflict. I had a problem understanding the anger that rises in me when being scolded for another person’s mistake just because am their supervisor. I thought everyone should be responsible for what they do. That morning the perspective I took, standing up for another person made me realize that, whenever in management we are made to serve the people who are under our watch and not to intimidate them.
The conflict in me was torn between, whether to scold the intern and let him get suspended from the hospital or allow him to stay. He had left so many apologies on my phone through text. I although felt that he never took his work seriously. On the other hand, I thought I was supposed to take the blame for the student since I was in charge of him and did not prepare him well for how health records are one of the most important things to a patient. At this time it was quite difficult to make a decision knowing that each decision could lead to grave consequences. I decided to consider the theory of personal perception in trying to resolve my conflict.
After and during the incident I decided not to act until my anger and anxiety had reduced. From the personal expectations I had. I realized I expected much from the interns who were really not flexible enough. I realized I didn’t consider their past with was rather shanty and had affected their whole perspective of how they acted. Later that night I realized the affected intern had previously been having financial problems. He had to try and get money to keep getting the see grandmother at home cancer drugs. These affected his judgment a lot and might be the cause of the wrong patient diagnose that he had done.
The other thing I considered in solving my stalemate was putting my shoe in the other person’s situation. I had to imagine what the intern was going to feel had he been suspended from the hospital. I also considered the family who was raising genuine concerns. After considering my option I decide the best way to solve the conflict was to apologize to both parties. This decision was based on the theory of best strategy for solving conflicts. The theory emphasizes that for personal conflicts, it is best for them to be solved, through apologizing.
Personal Growth and Improved Relationships
The apology makes the offender feel you have learned your lesson and will never repeat such deeds again. An apology is also a way of showing you regret your actions and if there is any way you would wish to compensate for them, then you would happily consider it. The effect that apology creates on people especially genuinely made me take the decision of apologizing to everyone including the intern who had gotten us into this mess. I apologized to him for having not given him the right direction I was supposed to.
The reaction gave me a perspective I had never realized before. The effect of what I had done when the supervisor dropped a flower at my door, with an apology of having scolded me that morning. This had me thinking that anger and anxiety should not direct our course of action when we are attacked by a decision we are supposed to make. In my reflection I thought of the following;
I realized I had a gift me in solving disputes. The approach I gave to the family of the sick affected patient opened my eyes to the ability I had. I told the family the effects that their actions would cause. I convinced them in agreeing with me that the intern was young and doing that to him was going to cause more torture to him. I narrated to them the grandmother situation of the young intern. They finally agreed to my terms when I offered to pay the rest of the hospital bill for the patient. I reflected on my ability to act while under pressure. I noticed am good at acting when under a lot of pressure. Being aware that the incident would cost me my job, I had to take the best decision to salvage the situation. Making the right decision under such pressure made me realize am a good problem solver.
I also reflected on my time management. I noticed taking a lot of time in the night connecting with the patient exhausted me a lot. This made me take a lot of time to get to work in the morning. I have to, therefore, reschedule for another part in the evening that will consider my morning hours to get to the job early. Getting to work early will also help in taking the interns through the record of the patients to avoid the recurrence of the mistake once again.
Using Cognitive-Based Theory to Manage Anger
I reflected on how to assign work so that it fits the abilities of the interns. I had to change the interns after learning their abilities. The interns with greater abilities, I moved them to patient management while the ones that had slower abilities I got them to health records. The change helped in managing the confusion among them as each only took one task.
I reflected on my relationship with my supervisor and other workers in the hospital. I realized that before the incident my relationship with the supervisor and my intern was so official, after the incident and the capabilities I had shown in solving the dispute, the relationship became so casual. They approached me with different issue hoping I would help them solve. The supervisor can now often come to my office requesting for different professional advice. My relationship has generally improved.
I reflected on my personal behavioral preferences. My previous aggressiveness and anger were not good. When angry its best not to take any decisions. With my anger, I had lost a lot of relationships that took me a job-threatening risk to gain back.
The cognitive behavioral theory that was developed by cognitive behaviorist like Ivan Pavlov. Supported by DR J RYAN FULLER in his book Cognitive Behavioral Theory, argues that there are different levels of what triggers the anxiety and response for a person towards the action that one takes to a situation. The fear slowly develops to anxiety hierarchy that leads to personal conflict.
The personal conflict that developed in me was due to the underlying disturbance in my mind that I could not relate to my fellow workers. The workers complained of my anger and anxiety, I didn’t have the best way to resolve this pattern. Having learned about the systematic desensitization involve me as the patient, knowing this underlying tension to help to solve my anger issues. I decided to manage my anger to help me in solving my personal conflict. I realized if I solved my anger issues the personal relationship would even grow more with my colleagues. I decided to begin working with my interns and my supervisor who were the immediate people around me.
I used the following methods developed from the cognitive-based theory to manage my anger:
In the heat of the moment as the supervisor had just stormed into the office and complained to me showing the anger written all over his face. It’s best that I don’t say anything like I did. Exchanges might lead to more annoying situations. The session also allows for thought collection and avoid regrets.
As soon as I started thinking clearly, I expressed my anger by getting back to the intern and asked him to join me in apologizing to the affected family. My concerns were well expressed to the family, the board and to the intern without hurting them or trying to control them in any way I could. The theory is totally in line with my beliefs and the way I reacted to that particular situation that has forever remained an eye-opener.
The experience helped improve my management skills as it shaped my personality and perspective truths in the following ways;
It improved my skills in handling situations. Having handled the previous situation with anger and rage, I learned to handle threatening and difficult situations.
The experience also showed me that the best way to improve the relationship with others is to provide a hearing to their problems. When I turned a listening ear to my colleagues, they believed in me and our relationship has improved.
I have also learned that in management, philanthropic activities are very helpful in solving difficult stalemate and situations. By offering to settle the bills at my expense, most people believed in me. The supervisor also believes in my abilities that he now inquires professional advice from me.
The experience made me know that management surpasses the office and work environment but involve getting into people a personal life of people. Understanding people who do not have the same belief as yours.
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