Gender, society, school, college, family, race, ethnicity, culture, religion and community plays a significant role in forming of a good or bad person. When a person is seen in the community they see what culture he/she belongs to and how the culture has formed them in a good way or bad way.
Everyone has a different personality based on their culture and life experiences. I have a different personality too because of my culture and family. I am a person who stays quiet all the time and has a social anxiety of speaking anything to anyone.
Even if someone is bothering me I would love to ignore them instead of saying anything to them. According to my personal opinion New York has made this personality of mine. In my home country I did my elementary and middle school.
And I was pretty much confident in participation, attending after school programs/clubs, extracurricular activities. I was good at speech and was an active personality.
The reason I am using my prior experiences and personality here is to compare myself. How I was before as a person and who I am now as a person in New York.
I came to New York on February 25, 2014. After coming here I started seeing changes in my personality. Because I started to adapt the culture and society norms of New York. I went to middle school for a month or two I believe and then graduated from Ditmas I.S 62.
In the first week of my school I took NY state exams which seemed unfair to me.
Like how can I take them I just came from my country and I haven’t learned these before but I passed them. I that school I was discriminated by other classmates during lunch period because I was seen as a different person and I felt like I don’t belong here.
Most students bullied me based on my dressing because I used to wear Pakistani dresses. This made me so aggressive, which was a huge change in my personality. I told my parents I don’t want to go to school because students don’t like me they see me in a very different way.
First I thought, they don’t like me because I am from Pakistan, but then I realized it was my dressing sense which they don’t like. Students love to talk to other Pakistani girls because they wore jeans, short shirts, no hijab, makeup and all that stuff.
This was all new to me because I have never gone through all these things in my country. After graduating from middle school I started undermining my abilities and skills. I chose not to participate in class as everyone will make fun of me. When I went to high school I change my dressing from classical to modern.
I started to wear jeans, shirts and hijab. I had a huge argument with my family to change my dressing because in our religion and culture it is not permissible to wear these types of clothes. Somehow, I succeeded and my family allowed me to wear these clothes.
I accepted the fact that to live in New York I have to change myself else people will not let you live the way you are. The first thing I changed was my dressing, because of this people stopped bullying me but I didn’t get the spot I was suppose to.
People still discriminated against me because of my race. I feel like gender also plays a significant role in everyone’s life. If someone is a boy their gender would lead them to masculinity and if someone is a girl their gender would lead them to feminism. My gender also lead me towards feminism.
As a woman I have different responsibilities. If my mom is not at home, then I have to look after everything according to my culture but according to New York’s culture it is not your responsibility to look after your mom and cook. I have seen many friends of mine who have changed themselves according to New York’s culture. They have become independent, they do whatever they want to wherever they want to