Effective Communication Techniques: Self-Reflection Report

Active-empathic listening

Write a Self-Reflection Report on Effective Communication Techniques.

Effective communication is an essential skill in romantic relationships, family affairs, and business dealings. Nevertheless, I have found myself to be unable to communicate with other people in different settings effectively. This has caused me to get frustrated about my communication methods, and I took it upon myself to better understand my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to the way I voice my opinions and listen to other people. I, therefore, took five tests to shed light on my communication style and determine the areas that need improvement. The tests showed that my primary weaknesses in communication are the lack of assertiveness and poor listening skills.

The first test I took was an assertiveness test. Assertiveness refers to the ability of an individual to clearly and precisely voice their feelings and opinions regarding a given matter and firmly advocate for their needs and rights (Heimberg et al., 2007). When being assertive one does not need to violate the rights of other people. An assertiveness test is a tool that evaluates one’s aptitude, self-confidence, and assertiveness skills (McIntyre et al., 2014). This test aids to determine whether one is an aggressive, passive, or assertive communicator. Research has indicated that many people think they are assertive, but after taking this test, they realize that they have either moderate or low levels of assertiveness.

The results of the analysis depicted that I have a score of 54. This score shows that there are instances where I fail to address the most important concerns that I have, or I hesitate to discuss them. In these cases, I fail to bring the concerns to the appropriate stakeholders. However, the test also showed that in situations where I feel that people are treating me poorly, I usually stand up for myself and let them know that I do not accept that form of treatment. These results showed me that I should act like I deserve respect because when I do so, people will most likely respect me. The results also taught me that I should not be passive in my communication style. I need to be an assertive communicator who stands up for my rights, does not allow other people to either manipulate or abuse me. Additionally, I need to maintain eye contact when communicating with people about any concerns that I have, and I should also express my feelings in a respectful, appropriate, and precise manner.

Assertiveness

When one displays an assertive communication style, they become more mature since they usually address problems and issues as they arise as opposed to becoming resentful due to an inability to voice their concerns. They are also able to take control of their lives and connect with other people better (Umphrey & Sherblom, 2018). I would like to achieve these outcomes, and since I have identified my main communication problem, I will work to improve my assertiveness over the next six months.

The second test that I took is the communication quiz in which I had a score of 56. This questionnaire aims to determine how effective one is at receiving and sending messages (Stewart & Arnold, 2018). The results of the test showed that I am a capable communicator and sender of information, but I occasionally experience problems in message reception whether physically or using different mediums such as emails. From this test, I learned that encoding information is one of my strengths but decoding it can be quite a challenge. I thought that I was good at receiving messages, but this test showed me that I am not. To improve on this, I learned that I need to pay attention to the body language of the communicator and not just concentrate on their verbal cues. Additionally, I discovered the significance of taking some time to reflect on what someone has said before providing a reply. I also learned that I should not interrupt a person to ensure that I get the full information even when I have a burning question that requires clarification. I also learned the art of empathic listening. This involves the comprehension of the emotions behind any given message. In some cases, the same words may mean entirely different things based on the feelings behind them. Finally, I learned the importance of taking feedback from people that I communicate with as opposed to just passing the message without waiting for a response. Therefore, this test taught me to become an active listener.

The third test that I took is the willingness to listen diagnostic. This is a test that is designed to determine an individual’s orientation towards listening (Macnamara, 2016b). For this test, I had a score of 65. This score showed that I have a moderate willingness to listen. The results of this test were similar to the results of the communication quiz, and this further indicated that I need to be more open to listening to what other people are saying. Upon further reflection to my listening habits, I realized that in very many cases, I usually listen to what someone is telling me with the aim to respond as opposed to aiming to understand their point of view. If someone disagrees with me, I listen to their argument and seek to provide a counter-argument. Instead, I learned that it is essential to listen to comprehend the other person’s point of view to see where their opinions are coming from. By so doing, I will not only relate to them better, but I could also learn something new.

Verbal helping skills

Fourth, I took the interpersonal communications skills test for which I had a score of 68. The results of this test indicated that I am relatively good at interpreting people’s actions and words and in some cases, I can see things from their perspective. However, there are instances when misunderstandings occur. The results also showed that I could sense what other people feel and I usually adjust my behavior according to their feelings. Incidentally, I can detect when they are feeling uncomfortable or confused, and I consequently change my behavior to accommodate them. Additionally, I learned that there are times when I pay more attention to the message I am sending as opposed to looking at how it is received. However, I discovered that with practice and experience; I will be able to improve my interpersonal communication skills and better empathize with others.

Finally, I took the self-perceived competence questionnaire that was measured using the self-perceived communication competence scale. This test aims to determine the manner in which people think of their communication competence when they are provided with different communication scenarios that involve different people (Burnside-Lawry, 2012). The results of this test showed that my most comfortable form of communication was with my family members and friends (Bodie et al., 2008). I realized that this is the case because I am very comfortable with my friends and family members and this enables me to even disagree with them in specific instances. My communication is however abysmal when I am interacting with my superiors and other people who I am not familiar with.

The main reason is due to my low levels of assertiveness and a failure to hold people accountable for their actions. This shows that in need to improve my communication skills when interacting with my superiors and people I do not know well. I need to get over my fear of being bold and standing up for myself, and I should voice my opinions regardless of whether the other party agrees with them or not. I should also believe in myself as opposed to always feeling incompetent in areas that I am good at. These feelings of incompetence then cause me to doubt myself and hence not communicate effectively when asked about my work. The assessment of my communication skills using the five diagnostic tools listed above has shown me that I need to become more assertive and listen to what other people are saying actively to be more effective in all my operations.
With regards to my low levels of assertiveness, I would like to provide a scenario that happened at my place of work. As an intern in a data and analytics firm, I tried my best to impress the management and do the best job possible. We were assigned different tasks which I always completed on time. One time, one of my colleagues always decided to give me his workload, and I would end up working all night for weeks to complete my task and his. I was trying to make friends in the company and create a good impression, and this employee took advantage of that. I was not assertive to refuse to do his workload and just did it even though it overwhelmed me. I ended up suffering from overworking and sleep deprivation which caused me to lose my internship ultimately. I have however now learned the importance of being assertive and not letting people take advantage of me. I should have calmly and firmly told the exploitative colleague that I would not work on his responsibilities since I had my work to complete and report the matter to the management if he persisted.

Similarity and attraction in marriage

Another case that demonstrates my poor listening skills occurred when I was working as a personal assistant in another organization. One day, the manager called me to his office to give me instructions on how to deal with one client who brought a lot of revenue to the business. Since it was an urgent matter, the manager spoke very fast, but I ended up losing concentration because there was a lot of information that I needed to process within a very short time span. Consequently, I caused the company to incur losses since I did not execute the operations as the manager had instructed. From the tests, I have learned the significance of active listening, and I am aware that I should ask questions when I do not understand what is being said and consider non-verbal cues.  
Active listening is a crucial and indispensable aspect of the communication process as indicated by different research studies. According to Libow & Doty, (2006), listening involves hearing as well as cognition, and it enhances the ability of one to perceive information, interpret it, comprehend it as well as assign meaning to it. Additionally, listening enables one to react based on the message, recall, and perform an analysis of the data acquired (Miller, Hedrick, & Orlofsky, 2001). One of the significant elements of organizational change is active listening.

In spite of the tremendous importance of active listening, D’Augelli & Levy (2008) states that it has not been given enough attention both in research articles as well as in organizational operations. Van Hasselt et al. (2005) agree by stating that active listening is a central element to the success of any organization, but it is also one of the most neglected aspects of communication in organizations. Listening is a very crucial soft skill, and the Harvard Business Review stated that professionals in the business field identified it as a highly desirable skill in the workplace (Reznik, Roloff, & Miller, 2012). Active listening has even been identified as a critical management skill by Bodie (2011).

The workplace is composed of very many diverse people. It is therefore likely for people to encounter individuals who they may deem to be difficult to interact and work with. Some of these employees may be hard to get along with, some don’t appear to listen, and others interrupt other people when they are communicating (Macnamara, 2016a). According to Gearhart & Bodie (2011), there may be a myriad of factors that come into play on why these employees seem to be difficult and the primary factor is the lack of active listening skills. It is therefore vital for employers to train their employees not only on the essential ways to communicate but also on how to gain useful listening skills in the workplace.

Nonverbal communication

A significant element of active listening is listening comprehension. This is defined as the ability of one person to perceive another person using aural sense and organs and assign meaning to a particular message and understand it (Weger, Castle, & Emmett, 2010). Henry et al. (2012) state that listening is more complicated than just hearing what is being said. Four stages constitute the process of listening comprehension. First, there is the stage of sensing and attending. Second, one needs to comprehend and interpret the message received. Third, it is crucial to recall what one has heard, and finally, one responds to the message received (Paukert, Stagner, & Hope, 2004). These four steps are critical to the listening process, but many people are not usually aware of them.

Another crucial element of active listening is the communicative competence of both the encoder and decoder of the message. Communicative competence is the use of language in conveying information and interpreting its meaning. The communicative competence is grouped into four different categories. First, there is strategic competence. Ramirez (2007) defines it as the ability of the listener to employ strategies that aid in compensation for the lack of enough knowledge on a given subject. Second, sociolinguistic competence refers to the ability of an individual to communicate appropriately using the correct language based on the social settings. Third, there is discourse competence which enables the listener to connect different pieces of information and make the right deduction (Weger, 2018). Finally, there is grammatical competence which relates to phonology and vocabulary.

To listen effectively and actively, it is crucial to take into consideration different paralinguistic features also referred to as non-verbal cues. The additional features that are used to enhance verbal communication include non-linguistic sounds, gestures, and various vocal features (Macnamara, 2018). Training employees on these various elements will enable them to become better communicators and allow them to listen effectively to the message being delivered. Different factors influence effective communication. These include concentration levels, the rate of delivery, motivation, and known vocabulary (Burleson & Denton, 2002). Therefore, to listen actively, it is crucial for one to ask questions on matters that they do not fully comprehend, take note of different non-verbal cues, and exhibit high concentration levels by avoiding distractions.

The Carl Rogers humanistic theory advocates for active listening and describes it as the development of clear comprehension of the concerns of the interest of the speaker followed by clear communication of the interests of the listener in the message of the speaker. This theory states that it is crucial for the listener to paraphrase information, formulate the right questions, make non-verbal cues and comments that encourage the speaker, avoid interrupting the speaker and summarize the information provided to depict that they have fully grasped what is being said (Janusik, 2007).

Research studies related to communication

Assertiveness has been said to fall within the field of interpersonal communication. According to (Heimberg et al., 1977a), interpersonal communication is the form of communication where the stakeholders talk and listen to each other. Assertiveness has been defined by McIntyre et al. (2014) as a method of interpersonal communication where the people who communicate to each other are open and transparent in regards to their perspectives and feelings while still maintaining respect to each other. Assertiveness in communication aids to promote equality between the communicating parties. According to Gervasio (2007), assertiveness is a communicative behavior that is more optional, and it aids in the maintenance of positive human relationships and also aids in the resolution of conflicts better than using aggressive behavior. Assertiveness aids in the promotion of harmony, ensuring that the needs that the different individuals have been met, and it also reduces the sense of resentment in people whenever their needs go unmet.

A critical difference that people should comprehend is the difference between aggression and assertiveness. According to Arrindell & van der Ende (2005), aggression is the behavior depicted where the aggressive parties voice their opinions and thoughts in a manner that is hurtful to the other people. Aggressive people like to control other people, and they primarily enhance themselves at the expense of the others. Conversely, assertive people voice their opinions in a bid to achieve their goals in a manner that allows the other people to hold onto their dignity by being respectful towards them (Av?ar & Ayaz Alkaya, 2017). Philosophically, each human being is worthy of being treated in a respectful manner and as a subject as opposed to an object.

In the professional setting, women are expected to behave effectively and assertively. However, a study conducted by Omura et al. (2017), shows that our culture expects them to be more cooperative, supportive, and gentle than their male counterparts. One theory that is used to explain the concept of assertiveness is the Judee Burgeon’s Expectancy Violation theory. This theory speaks about the risks as well as the benefits that may arise as a result of behaving in a manner that is unexpected by other stakeholders (Heimberg, Montgomery, Madsen, & Heimberg, 2007b). This theory states that so long as people communicate in the usual manner, the non-verbal behavior, as well as the expectancies, are most likely to operate out of awareness (Kae Van Engen, 2012). On the other hand, in case one of the parties acts outside the subconscious expectations recognizably, then the other party become distracted and is left with the option to interpret the behavior either positively or negatively.

The effectiveness of assertiveness training for school-aged children

I created a plan on how to achieve my two communication goals within the next six months. First, I will join the mind tools club. This is an online platform that enables one to develop active listening skills. I will also take a course in communication skills that will enable me to be more assertive when interacting with other people.

Second, I will make use of a personal journal in a bid to track how well my communication skills are improving. This will help me to aim to increase my assertiveness and active listening skills by ensuring that improve them over the six-month period. The journal will also enable me to plan what I need to achieve on a weekly basis and I will, therefore, work hard every week to reach the set goals.

Third, I will take advanced post-graduate courses to enable gain insight into the significance and impacts of being assertive and listening actively. This learning will allow me to appreciate these communication skills and therefore work relentlessly to achieve them. I am also going to find a mentor who will allow me to improve my communication skills. I will ask Rachel York to guide me as I strive to develop my communication skills. Rachel York has more than twenty years of experience in public relations and communications, and she has more than twelve years’ experience in senior business roles. Using her input, I will be able to identify the flaws in my communication process that cause me to exhibit low levels of active listening and assertiveness.Finally, I will read different books on how to improve my communication by being more assertive and listening actively to other people. The top five books that I will read include; ‘The Assertiveness Workbook How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships’ by Randy Paterson (Amazon.com, 2000), ‘Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others Kindle Edition’ by Judy Murphy, ‘Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships (9th Edition)’, (Amazon.com, 2008), ‘Instructor’s manual for Asserting yourself: A practical guide for positive change’ by Sharon Anthony, (library thing, 2010), and ‘The Art of Active Listening: How to Double Your Communication Skills in 30 Days Kindle Edition’ by Josh Gibson ,(Amazon.com, 2018). I will implement the different strategies that I will learn from the various books and continue working on my communication even after the six months are over. The table below shows the schedule of my action plan.

In conclusion, this essay provides the five diagnostic tools that I used to test the effectiveness of my communication skills. From the tests, I identified that I have two significant communication challenges namely the lack of assertiveness and active listening. The literature review in this study contains information about my two main communication issues by identifying factors that influence them and ways to overcome them. Finally, I create a six-month action plan to help me overcome my problems and become a better and more effective communicator

The validation of the conversational listening span

References

Arrindell, W. A., & van der Ende, J. (2005). Cross-sample invariance of the structure of self-reported distress and difficulty in assertiveness: Experiences with the scale for interpersonal behavior. Advances in Behaviour Research and Therapy, 7(4), 205–243. https://doi.org/10.1016/0146-6402(85)90013-X.

Av?ar, F., & Ayaz Alkaya, S. (2017). The effectiveness of assertiveness training for school-aged children on bullying and assertiveness level. Journal of Pediatric Nursing, 36, 186–190. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedn.2017.06.020.

Bodie, G. D. (2011). The Active-Empathic Listening Scale (AELS): Conceptualization and Evidence of Validity Within the Interpersonal Domain. Communication Quarterly, 59(3), 277–295. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463373.2011.583495.

Bodie, G. D., Worthington, D., Imhof, M., & Cooper, L. O. (2008). What Would a Unified Field of Listening Look Like? A Proposal Linking Past Perspectives and Future Endeavors. International Journal of Listening, 22(2), 103–122. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904010802174867.

Burleson, B. R., & Denton, W. H. (2002). A new look at similarity and attraction in marriage: Similarities in social?cognitive and communication skills as predictors of attraction and satisfaction. Communication Monographs, 59(3), 268–287. https://doi.org/10.1080/03637759209376269.

Burnside-Lawry, J. (2012). Listening and Participatory Communication: A Model to Assess Organization Listening Competency. International Journal of Listening, 26(2), 102–121. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2012.678092.

D’Augelli, A. R., & Levy, M. (2008). The verbal helping skills of trained and untrained human service paraprofessionals. American Journal of Community Psychology, 6(1), 23–31. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00890097.

Gearhart, C. C., & Bodie, G. D. (2011). Active-Empathic Listening as a General Social Skill: Evidence from Bivariate and Canonical Correlations. Communication Reports, 24(2), 86–98. https://doi.org/10.1080/08934215.2011.610731.

Gervasio, A. H. (2007). Assertiveness techniques as speech acts. Clinical Psychology Review, 7(1), 105–119. https://doi.org/10.1016/0272-7358(87)90006-7.

Heimberg, R. G., Montgomery, D., Madsen, C. H., & Heimberg, J. S. (2007a). Assertion training: A review of the literature. Behavior Therapy, 8(5), 953–971. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7894(77)80165-2.

Heimberg, R. G., Montgomery, D., Madsen, C. H., & Heimberg, J. S. (2007b). Assertion training: A review of the literature. Behavior Therapy, 8(5), 953–971. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7894(77)80165-2.

Henry, S. G., Fuhrel-Forbis, A., Rogers, M. A. M., & Eggly, S. (2012). Association between nonverbal communication during clinical interactions and outcomes: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Patient Education and Counseling, 86(3), 297–315. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pec.2011.07.006.

Janusik, L. A. (2007). Building Listening Theory: The Validation of the Conversational Listening Span. Communication Studies, 58(2), 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1080/10510970701341089.

Kae Van Engen. (2012). The role of communication and listening in leadership.

Libow, J. A., & Doty, D. W. (2006). An evaluation of empathic listening in telephone counseling. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 23(6), 532–537. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.23.6.532

Macnamara, J. (2016a). Organizational listening: Addressing a major gap in public relations theory and practice. Journal of Public Relations Research, 28(3–4), 146–169. https://doi.org/10.1080/1062726X.2016.1228064.

Macnamara, J. (2016b). The Work and ‘Architecture of Listening’: Addressing Gaps in Organization-Public Communication. International Journal of Strategic Communication, 10(2), 133–148. https://doi.org/10.1080/1553118X.2016.1147043.

Macnamara, J. (2018). Toward a Theory and Practice of Organizational Listening. International Journal of Listening, 32(1), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2017.1375076.

McIntyre, T. J., Jeffrey, D. B., & McIntyre, S. L. (2014). Assertion training: The effectiveness of a comprehensive cognitive-behavioral treatment package with professional nurses. Behaviour Research and Therapy (Vol. 22). https://doi.org/10.1016/0005-7967(84)90011-1.

Miller, W. R., Hedrick, K. E., & Orlofsky, D. R. (2001). The Helpful Responses Questionnaire: A procedure for measuring therapeutic empathy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 47(3), 444–448. https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-4679(199105)47:3<444::AID-JCLP2270470320>3.0.CO;2-U.

Omura, M., Maguire, J., Levett-Jones, T., & Stone, T. E. (2017). The effectiveness of assertiveness communication training programs for healthcare professionals and students: A systematic review. International Journal of Nursing Studies, 76, 120–128. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijnurstu.2017.09.001.

Paukert, A., Stagner, B., & Hope, K. (2004). The Assessment of Active Listening Skills in Helpline Volunteers. Stress, Trauma, and Crisis, 7(1), 61–76. https://doi.org/10.1080/15434610490281075.

Ramirez, A. (2007). The Effect of Anticipated Future Interaction and Initial Impression Valence on Relational Communication in Computer-Mediated Interaction. Communication Studies, 58(1), 53–70. https://doi.org/10.1080/10510970601168699.

Reznik, R. M., Roloff, M. E., & Miller, C. W. (2012). Components of Integrative Communication During Arguing: Implications for Stress Symptoms. Argumentation and Advocacy, 48(3), 142–158. https://doi.org/10.1080/00028533.2012.11821760.

Stewart, M. C., & Arnold, C. L. (2018). Defining Social Listening: Recognizing an Emerging Dimension of Listening. International Journal of Listening, 32(2), 85–100. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2017.1330656.

Umphrey, L. R., & Sherblom, J. C. (2018). The Constitutive Relationship of Listening to Hope, Emotional Intelligence, Stress, and Life Satisfaction. International Journal of Listening, 32(1), 24–48. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2017.1297237.

Van Hasselt, V. B., Baker, M. T., Romano, S. J., Sellers, A. H., Noesner, G. W., & Smith, S. (2005). Development and Validation of a Role-Play Test for Assessing Crisis (Hostage) Negotiation Skills. Criminal Justice and Behavior, 32(3), 345–361. https://doi.org/10.1177/0093854804274374.

Weger, H. (2018). Instructor Active Empathic Listening and Classroom Incivility. International Journal of Listening, 32(1), 49–64. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2017.1289091

Weger, H., Castle, G. R., & Emmett, M. C. (2010). Active Listening in Peer Interviews: The Influence of Message Paraphrasing on Perceptions of Listening Skill. International Journal of Listening, 24(1), 34–49. https://doi.org/10.1080/1090401090346631

Order an Essay Now & Get These Features For Free:

Turnitin Report

Formatting

Title Page

Citation

Outline

Place an Order