Perception and Communication Breakdowns
1. Perception refers to a process through which people create or translate meaning from sensory impressions of activities happening around them. Notions of perception as seen in the film can greatly influence people’s actions and often lead to regrettable choices(Agarwal, 2009).
When Oliver uses Barbara’s contract to smash a bug, Barbara does not take that lying down as she translates it to her husband’s lack of interest in the contract. She feels that Oliver does not really care about the fortunes that the contract would bring to her. Moreover, she perceives her husband’s action as equivalent to smashing her dreams. One day when Oliver is on the driveway, he accidentally runs over a cat belonging to his wife. Barbara upon realization of it perceives it as an act of aggression towards her. The couple fails to talk about the matter squarely and horrible events follow thereafter. Barbara therefore retaliates and her actions nearly cause death to Oliver. Oliver is on the verge of dying when her wife traps her in their private sauna leading to a life threating heart attack. All these events set the couple on a collision cause which adversely continues to tear their seemingly dying marriage in a heated verbal showdown. Barbara’s impulsive nature and Oliver’s dismissive attitude are all to blame for the meltdown (DeVitto, 1989).
2. Oliver who arguably is self-centered believes that he is suffering a heart attack the day following an argument with his wife. Barbara does not like his behavior and shows no remorse or affection for his well-being following those remarks. She is visibly angry and admits that she longer loves Oliver and wants the marriage ended. During a meeting with Barbara’s lawyer, Barbara demands that she wants their house and all the property in it. Oliver also procures a legal counsel. The ensuing legal battles see Oliver kicked out of the house only to return later pending the divorce outcomes. Barbara continues to pursue awful options to have Oliver out like seducing his lawyer. On numerous occasions, the two have heated exchanges and verbal combat exposing their dirty linen to friends and potential business clients. They often embarrassed and humiliated each other even at the slightest provocation. Oliver does not seem to understand what he’s done to Barbara to deserve this kind of treatment. He is controlling and dismissive which actually results in a scuffle emanating from a visibly petty matter(DeVitto, 1989).
Identity Conflicts and Relationship Issues
3. When the two first met at an auction, they easily became friends. They both had a good chat, and the same evening, spent the night together after Barbara missed her ferry home. It is from this exchange that the two eventually got married and had a wonderful life together with two children. On one day when the children were all grown up and left for college, Oliver resolved to sit down and make peace with Barbara over their already torn marriage and widening differences. Oliver organized and an elegant dinner with Barbara. However, all does not end well when a fight ensues over Barbara’s remarks that she served Oliver a pate believed to be from his dog(DeVitto, 1989).
4. Oliver is a seemingly self-centered lawyer who in addition to his controlling tendencies, generally has a dismissive behavior towards his wife Barbara. These tendencies obviously have an adverse bearing on his communication skills. He has severally scolded, shouted and attempted to manipulate his wife whenever they had an argument. However, Oliver appears to be the more reasonable one as he faces facts and realities given his background in law. Barbara, on the other hand, is impulsive, short-tempered and blows matters out of proportion. Though she clearly puts that she no longer loves Oliver and that she wants a divorce, she grows a deep hatred for Oliver. In one of the scenes, she says to Oliver that every time she sees his face she feels like smashing it. Oliver responds by challenging her to smash it, and Barbara wastes no chances. She gives him a hot slap that sends Oliver crumbling on the ground through the stairs to the first floor of their house(DeVitto, 1989). The pair suffered a lot of communication meltdowns that could perhaps salvage their marriage if they had been a little more patient with each other and exercise restraint whenever one partner made offensive remarks. Perception is another off-key towards communication competence. The two ought to have eliminated prejudice in their exchanges to give room for the correct and intended message.
5. (a) Getting to know each other: Oliver, a student of Law at Harvard Law School first met Barbara at an auction where both were bidding on the same figurine. The two had a wonderful chat that saw them spend the night together.
Getting close: On the very same day of their first meeting, when Barbara misses her ferry home, the two end up in each other arms. Barbara comments that “If this relationship lasts, this will have been the most romantic moment of my life. If it doesn’t, I’m a complete slut.”
Stabilizing: After a short while, the two marry and have two children. Oliver goes into law while Barbara goes into housekeeping. The two become very good at their work. However, this wonderful relationship begins to develop cracks as Barbara appears to grow restless with Oliver and a deep dislike for him deepening.
Commitment: The Rose’s do not seem to enjoy this stage. Their marriage is dogged with unending wrangles, fights and what love turns sore (Straker, 2010).
(b) Getting to know each other: The Rose’s relationship seems to generally have effectively skipped indeed crucial stages of a relationship development. Given they had never met before, they rushed the stage where they ought to have known each other first. Basic exchanges shouldn’t often lead to getting close. They ought to have taken more time in deciding their desired relationship.
Getting close: The Roses’ ought to have sought more contact in planned dates, get to be more comfortable with each other to say revealing secrets and later intensifying the relationship with intimacy.
Stabilizing: Small and petty issues became major confrontations between the Roses. They ought to have taken more time storming, getting more patient with each other to develop a sufficient commitment in the end.
Commitment: Something which evidently was missing, the couple ought to have been committed to solving their challenges rather than opting for divorce. They ought to have bettered their communication skills to give room for mediation (Straker, 2010).
References
Adler, W. (1981). The War of The Roses. New York: Warner Books Inc.
Agarwal, K. (2009). Perception Management. New Delhi: Global India Publications Pvt Ltd.
DeVitto, D. (Director). (1989). The War of the Roses [Motion Picture].
Straker, D. (2010). Changing Minds: in Detail. Crowthorne: Syque Press.
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