First mix ¼ cups of cocoa powder, 3½ tablespoons granulated sugar, this will make the dough sweeter, 1 teaspoon of salt, a pinch of love, and1¼ cups flour until homogenized. Add 6 tablespoons of cold butter and 2 tablespoons of shortening and mix until mixture resembles what kinetic sand with a few small lumps of cold butter. Transfer to a large bowl. In a small bowl whisk 1 egg yolk, ½ teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and 2 tablespoons of ice water then pour half of the egg mixture over flour mixture and mix until combined.
Add the rest of the egg mixture to the party and knead until the dough starts to come together. Next, take the dough and cut into quarters. At this point, there will be a few dry bits in the bowl that refuses to be incorporated in the dough.
Gather the dry bits and say “You weren’t good enough, moist enough, and tasty enough and you missed your chance to be a pie crust.
” Then toss the dry crumbs in the trash where it belongs. Then take the rest of the dough and knead them together until all of the pieces of dough are incorporated. Press down on the dough to form into a 1-inch disk. Wrap in plastic and chill for ideally 1 hour in your fridge. Now check your book of favors to see who owes you one and make them come over to do the dishes for this recipe. Or you can place all of the dishes in the sink and wait 24 hours to see if you can get lucky.
Rolling out the Dough Take out the disk of dough on a lightly floured surface.
Take your aggression out on the dough by pounding out the dough with your roller while rotating it. As you start to roll out the dough it is very common for cracks to form around the edge. Don’t fret, just press the dough back together. For lining a pie dish roll the dough onto the roller and unravel it over the pie dish. Press not stretch the dough into the pie dish, this direct contact will help with the baking process. If there is any extra dough around the rim of the dish remove as necessary and decorate the crimp to your taste. Next, chill the pie crust in the freezer for 10 minutes.
Blind Baking
What is blind baking you may wonder? According to The Kitchn, “Blind baking is … letting the pie crust bake for a little while on its own before you add the filling.” (Christensen) This will prevent the pie from overcooking. Preheat oven to 350°. Line your pie crust with parchment paper or heavy-duty foil. Fill the parchment paper with pie weights or, if you are cheap like me, uncooked grains of rice also works. Bake the crust for 20 minutes at 350°. Remove paper and weights and bake until the surface of the crust looks dry around 5 to 10 minutes. Brush the crust with 1 beaten egg to prevent the crust from being soggy. Put the crust back in the oven for another 3 minutes until it is set.
Pumpkin Filling
There are many ways to make a pumpkin purée. According to Epicurious some of their favorite pumpkins to work with are “Cheese Pumpkin … [because the] flavor [is]… delicate and sweet and the texture just slightly grainy” (Parisi) and Jarrahdale “which made for a silky-smooth… The flavor it imparted was sweet and delicate; the texture, pure velvet.” (Parisi) But for the sake of time canned pumpkin purée is fine. Get out the bourbon and pour yourself a glass because you are going to be here for a while. Use as necessary. I do not recommend the previous step if you are under the age of the drinking limit. Because the last thing that I need is a lawsuit. Whisk pumpkin purée, ¼ cup sour cream, 2 tablespoons of bourbon, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, ½ teaspoon of salt, ¼ teaspoon of ginger, ¼ teaspoon of nutmeg, ⅛ teaspoon of allspice, ⅛ teaspoon of mace, and 3 room temperature eggs in a large bowl; set aside.
Maple Syrup Concentrate
We are starting with ¾ cups of maple syrup in a small saucepan and add 1 tsp.vanilla extract. You can also use the seeds from a vanilla bean but that doesn’t make you a better cook than me. Put the saucepan on medium high heat on your stove. Bring the syrup to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer, stirring occasionally for about 3 minutes. The concentrate should be thicker than before and reduce in volume. Remove from heat and add 1 cup of heavy cream in small additions, we are slowly introducing the mixture so that the eggs won’t fully cook, stirring after each addition until smooth and creamy. Gradually whisk hot maple cream into pumpkin mixture. At this point, you can also add in poison but I personally don’t recommend because that will make your pie not taste good. Skip this step if you want it’s up to you.
Pie Time
Now at this point, you may be thinking “No way is this a pie filling it’s too watery.” But guess what? You’re wrong, it’s a pie filling. Take that gloriousness and pour that into the pie dish. Then gently tap your pie on a flat surface to release any bubbles, careful this is basically a bowl of water. Bake pie at 350 F degrees, rotating halfway through, 50–60 minutes. The edge of the pie should be set and barely wobbles. Take this time to go for a walk and ponder the purpose of life. The answer is simple, time is an illusion and nobody cares. Transfer pie dish to a wire rack so that it doesn’t overcook. Leave your toxic personality away from the pie and let the pie cool down for 24 hours. Brulee You can stop here because the pie is done.
But when you die do you really want to be remembered for severing mediocre pumpkin pie? Just before serving, sprinkle pie with sugar and, using a kitchen torch hold your torch until the flame is barely touching the pie’s surface. Moving constantly don’t focus on one specific spot. Brûlée until sugar is melted to a deep amber color. You can add two or more layers of sugar at your own risk. Make sure you have a fire extinguisher present. Or you can also use the method by “Preheating the broiler to 415 F degrees with the oven rack positioned on the highest level. Cover the pie crust edges with aluminum foil…broil until the sugar melts and caramelizes.” (Bakepedia) However, with this method, you have less control over the final product.
Conclusion
Finally, you can cut yourself a piece of pie and enjoy the fruits of your labor. The filling should be nice and firm when it is fully set. It’s a thing of beauty how each of the flavors works well together. Now pat yourself on the back because you made homemade pumpkin pie. But in all likelihood are you really going to make this? Let’s be honest with yourself you are probably going to go to your nearest grocery store and buy a pre-made pie. Go have fun with your pumpkin pie of shortcuts.