FAMILY HARMONY By K. Vishnukumar Introduction: Family is a beautiful discovery of human evaluation and a prize given by the ancient people to the mankind. Living together is some thing special when the real sprits exist in the family. The Tamil proverb “ A good family is like un university” has a special meaning. The family university has been teaching number of subjects like friendship, relationship, fellowship, hospitality, Reception, Love, Confidence building, care & Share, Emotional adjustments etc. The parents and elders of the family and society are the teachers of this university.
Newly married couple can learn a lot from these teachers. According to the western concept, Family is an Institution where as our Indian concept believes that family is a way through which every one can perform their Dharma.. Dharma is supreme and it is the path in which mankind can do their duty and attain the salvation. In modern society the basics of a family is questioned and there are numerous problems are aroused.
The very basics of family system are jolted and Harmony of the family is disturbed. Few tips about the Harmony of the family are here by discussed. HUSBAND AND WIFE:
What do you understand the meaning of Husband and Wife relation ship? Have you experienced the real sprit of this relationship? There is a story about it. Once a young man was working in a Bank loved a beautiful girl who is also working is his office. The love end up with marriage. With in few days of their marriage, little problems were started in their life.
Due to misunderstanding the problems were grown up and quarrel become routine and some times manhandling would end up the day. Most of the days, there was no cooking in their house. He brought meals and Tiffin from hotel.
After two years, his wife was reported that she was pregnant. During those days, he thought, “What is the meaning of husband and wife relationship? ” Whether we really lioving together or merely existing together? The story concluded that if any once merely existing together means, their relationship is like a man and women, and living together means, their relationship is husband and wife. Existing together means to fill full the need of the physic and living together is for mind. Living together as husband and wife relationship is the first step towards the family harmony.
Who is the most lovable person? : During the training session, once asked, “Who is the most lovable person in human life? ” Most of them listed as Mother, Father, Teacher, Children, and at last wife. From their reply wife was considered as last lovable person. Mankind is living for happiness. No one wants to live with full of worries and difficulties. Happiness is a state of mind. This has to the attained when the Body, Brain, and Mind will be in a Triangular state. In any relationship, no one can attain happiness except husband and wife.
The needs of the brain and mind may be fulfilled by the mother, father, and others relations. But the husband and wife relationship can only meet all three needs of brain, Body and Mind. The union of all these three factors of human being attains the state as happiness. So most lovable relationship in human life is husband and wife. What is the beauty? Many times we checked our beauty by seeing our face in the mirror. But have you understand the meaning of beauty? Beauty is not merely the external appearance. It is the natural state of mind and the real character and behavior of the individual.
In any one relationship, the external beauty influences only 90 seconds, the existence of relationship rest with their noble behaviors and beautifulness of mind. So we need not worry about the external appearance and try to improve your internal thoughts and behaviors. What is Family? The word family has different meaning. One of the acronyms of family is formed like the following. Father And Mother I Love You. As per this acronym, Family means, “father and mother always express their love with each other. It may also mean that, child say “I Love my parents”.
Generally where the love lives, there the family Harmony will exist. Love live by giving and forgiving. So please give what you have and forgive other mistakes. It is the way for family Harmony. Achieving Harmony: Once a man buys an adjacent land and removed the boundaries. If both lands are plat and same level, it is easy to start foaming without much difficulty. Suppose one is up and other down, the upper will suffer due to lack of water and lower will spoil due to more water. Similarly the marriage removes boundary of a boy and girl and they live together as husband and wife.
Now if any one think or try to prove, I am superior, it will affect the harmony of the family like the lands. Hence it is best to under stand each other and feel both are equal in the married life. Emotional balance Account: From the marriage the husband and wife are going to start an account called emotional balance account. It is a joint account. Both of them can operate this account. It is same as the saving bank account. There are credit and debit facilities available. But the rules and regulations have some difference.
Husband and wife both may credit love, friendship, Hospitality, Adjustment, Sacrifice, more help and mutual understanding in this account. These are the investments. Presenting various surprise gifts, mementos are F. D in this account. In every investment and F. D, the credit will multiply and balance will be very high. In any time, anyone may debit any small amount by way of using hard words, Criticism, acquiescing, quarrelling, act out of way of ones confidents, following bad habits will reduced the bank balance in an multiple effect. Some times it may reach zero also.
Debit is not a healthy practice for this account. As a husband and wife every one must open un emotional balance account and always try to credit by investment and FD’s and never try to debit any small amount. This is a way for family Harmony. Basics of family harmony There are number of factors which influences the family harmony. Understanding some basic factors will make our self to get clarity and lead a meaning full life of togetherness. Some of the factors are briefly explained below. Care and share: Life means charring, sharing and understanding” -Sushametha sen, Miss universe.
Life requires caring of each other. Both are required to care others needs, wants and wishes. Caring is nice experiences that make everyone feel happy. Care about the personal growth, binding relations, personal belongings, views and problems will make each other to tend to get emotional attachment. This is the basic requirement for living together. Sharing will enhance deepness of relationship. Sharing your problems, feelings, viewpoints, ambitions, love and affections are the road map for getting understanding. One proverb explain; “How much you have is not important, How much you love is most important.
Hence care and share between husband and wife is the basics of family harmony. OPENNESS: The husband and wife will lead a meaningful life only by openness. Once we hide anything, the hidden will block the meaningful relation. Need not be open for any thing and everything, but to be open at maximum possible, Gandhiji became “Mahatma” through the openness. Openness creates confidence and it is the foundation for healthy relation. Hence openness is a required character of family harmony. Sacrifice: For a healthy, ever lasting and enjoyable relationship, sacrifice the insulated Ego, smaller individual interests own leisure’s and pleasures .
One can not achieve happiness without win the heart of his partner. The success and harmony of life depends upon the winning heart of the life partner. The easiest way to win the heart of others is sacrifice. Give what you have and forgive what the mistake others do. Instead of getting one can win the heart of others by giving by himself/herself. This is the basic character of family Harmony. UNDERSTANDING: It is required to understand the nature, moods, temperament, needs, Desires, behaviors, relations of the husband by the wife is the most essential character for a family.
Understanding is a foundation for a family building . If the foundation is not proper, ie improper understanding between the husband and wife will lead to crack in the happiness of family . The increasing role of T. V in our present life is a major obstacle for making or creating environment for understanding. Every day by half an hour with deep love and affection, the husband and wife is required to discuss and share about happenings. It is a best way for making understanding . It will pave way for family harmony. Problems and quarrel
Whenever you have any few problem and quarrel in your family? The answer is ’ yes’ then ok. If ‘No’, you have to worry about it . Be a human being, the difference in opinion and individual opinion is natural . So the problem and quarrel in life is natural. We have to accept it. These are happening in ever bodies’ life. So do not worry about it. But you have to worry if the problem and quarrel is very frequent and daily basis. Then you have to identify the root causes for the problem and quarrel and rectify it. Living with problem and quarrel bring hell to home.
One must forgive the shortcoming of other and make our life become happy. ANGER: Anger is one letter less than the word “DANGER”. When you become anger; you will be endangered. Do you know, the people normally express anger in order to protect themselves from their own mistakes and faults. Anger and its consequence is the basic reason for the disturbance of harmony in most of the families. Anger is the one of the reason for the heart problems. One need not want to control it but to manage it. Managing anger and express anger in positive ways is the only way for happy married ife. Managing anger will bring heaven to our home and enjoy the fruits of happiness in our life. CRITICISM: Can any body in the world say, “I am perfect? ” No; it is not possible. It means, every one have some faults or mistakes in their account. Criticism is a bad habit, which spoil relationship and happiness of the family. One mistake or fault must be corrected by proper guidance not by criticism. Guidance leads correction of behavior and criticism lead friction. In family the faults must be identified and express it positively without criticism.
This is a required quality of both of them in a family and behaves with maturity in dealing the things in life. It is a best way for the harmony in life. Appreciation: People normally express the faults of others. But never voluntarily appreciate others goodness. Every human being is want of appreciation. Appreciation is more worth than giving money or valuable gifts. For appreciation people does not require any expensive things, but requires a mind to mind the others goodness and feelings. Whenever any one do-good things appreciate without any delay. Appreciating others goodness is basic for family harmony.
Conclusion: Family harmony is a state mind and feeling existing in the members of the family. It is not a materialistic thing, but psychological thing. So make our mind as very positive and feed only positive thoughts in it . The mind catches goodness and happiness by it natural way. Prepare your mind to think positively and fill with goodness. The above-explained tips will help us to understand little bit about harmony in life. Lead a faithful life; the god will look after rest. Wish you all for everlasting and a wonderful harmony in your life at all time.
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