The Impact of Family Structure on Childhood Perception
Autobiographical narratives refer to the stories which the people remember regarding the events of their lives. An autobiographical narrative can be said to be a life experience that is written from the point of view of a writer. A family refers to group of the people who are either related by the element of consanguinity or by affinity or by co-residence. The family acts as the principal institution that helps the children in the aspect of socialization. A family acts as basic unit that helps in raising children and the development of the children takes place with the help of their family along with other social relations. The primary function in relation to family is providing a framework that can be useful for the aspect of reproduction biologically. A family shares the material substances like food and they are involved in the giving and the receiving of care that helps in building a bond within the framework of a family (Claiborne & Drewery, 2009). The family helps in locating the children in the social sphere and it plays an important role in enculturation along with socialization. The family is a place that acts as the building block within the society and it acts as the foundation in relation to civilization. A family helps the children in learning about the social grace of loyalty and the trust. Family helps the children in learning to love themselves and it helps in providing purpose to one’s life. This essay throws light on my family structure and the experiences in my childhood that created a big impression on me. It discusses how my perception of family changed with the passage of time and how the experiences played a crucial role in shaping my personality.
The family in the 21st century can be stated to be not a structure that is static. The families are undergoing changes in terms of composition and there are a large number of young people who have to face the issue of familial transformation. The children are the members of the family who have less chances of being initiated into the transition management they are involved within the process. It has been found that one out of three marriages in New Zealand ends in divorce and a half of these involves the young people. There are a large number of young people who have to experience the family transitions and this has a great impact on their mental development. The development influences have a great impact on the children and it leaves a deep impression on their mind (Dupuis, 2010).The concept of the young children towards family revolves around the concept of cohabitation along with contact. It has been found that the biological along with the legal factors take precedence in the case of the older participants. The young children perceives marriage along with contact to be important component of a family as compared to the older ones who have a tendency of focusing on quality of the relationships. The family structure is an important variable that reflects possibility of personal experience of the children pertaining to family life that plays a crucial role in the forming of perceptions. The cultural context has a great impact on the understanding of family of the young people (Claiborne & Drewery, 2009)
Experience of Family Structure and Emotional Development
Piaget held the view that definition of family that was held by the children goes through distinct developmental changes. My definition of family when I was around seven years old was that family was suggestive of the concept of co-habitation. In the event of being nine year old I understood the fact of biological connection in relation to co-habitation (McKenzie, 2006). The concrete-operational stage that spans from nine to the ten year old helped me in understanding the meaning of biological connections in relation to family. When I was around 11 years old, I came to realize that family can include all the biological relations that can be irrespective of the cohabiting status. In the adolescent age I used to relate the family with the affective factors and did not consider the biological or the legal factors (Amato, 2010).
I was the single child of my parents and since birth I was showered with a lot of love that helped me in forming a positive conception regarding family. I live in the region of Aotearoa New Zealand in which dominant intergenerational relationship is the parent-child relationship which is on the basis of ‘nuclear family’. The concept revolving around nuclear family is that two people who are of the opposite sex live under a roof with the biological children. The nuclear family structure helped in providing me with a stable form that helped to a great extent in my emotional development (Rigg & Pryor, 2007). The presence of my parents proved to be a major reason for my sound emotional development that was quite unlike the children of the broken families in my neighbourhood. In my childhood I witnessed the fact that the children who had biological parents was endowed with more love as compared to those children who were from the broken families. I saw that the children who lived in Aotearoa were more genetically connected with the offspring. My grandparents were not part of my family however my parents in every weekend used to visit them that helped in providing support to my ailing grandparents. I came to understand by seeing this that family can help an individual in feeing more secured and it was also important to nurture the bonds that can prove to be useful for an individual. My weekends were full of joy as I got the opportunity to visit my grandparents. I used to play jigsaw puzzle with my grandparents and they seemed to be extremely happy on being able to spend the time with us. They used to feel lonely throughout the week and used to wait for the opportunity when we would be visiting them (Davidson, 2009). My father used to bring them medicines and food so that they do not have to worry about them during the course of the week. All these experiences created beautiful memories for me and would stay with me throughout my life.
Challenges in Blended Families
Remarriage was a rising phenomenon of the society of New Zealand and the blended family system acted as a hindrance in the path of emotional development of the children. There was a girl called Susan living beside my home and I saw that she was depressed for most of the time. Blended family is often called the “incomplete institution” and I came to understand while observing her that the blended family structure was coming in the way of her happiness (Robinson & Jones Diaz, 2005). The parents and the children who ere in the first marriages had well-established norms that could not be formed easily in the case of blended marriage. In the event of blended marriage the family is unable to integrate properly and Susan could not grow familiar with the new family structure that was thrust upon her. Her step-mother belonged to the ethnicity group of Maori ad she could not adjust well to the cultural norms of her stepmother. Marriage acts as a symbol of happiness and this hope should be more apparent in the case of remarriages (Dupuis, 2010). The individuals in the second marriage are supposed to learn from the first marriage however the long process of integration proves to be disheartening for the children of the families. In the event of first marriage, the couple gets to enjoy the honeymoon period that helps them in accommodating each other. This however does not take place in the case of second marriage and this was leading to rift in the relationship between Susan’s father and her new mother. Susan could not ingratiate herself to the new customs easily of her new mother and tis was causing her to suffer from immense accounting of mental agony. She could not concentrate properly on her studies and seemed to be distracted even while playing. She did not feel like enjoying her life and was always immersed in deep sorrow. The parents of Susan had missed out on the period of time that could have helped them in solidifying the commitment and this was causing stress in their new relationship (Claiborne & Drewery, 2009). The quality of marital relationship can act as a factor in relation to the stability of the blended family. It is found that only the biological parent-child subsystem can have shared meanings and values as this subsystem was possessed of a history. The comfortableness surrounding the interaction in the case of first marriage that the new spousal sub- system cannot easily develop (Amato, 2010). Susan was also close to her biological mother who used to visit her once in a month and this was creating anger in her new step-mother. Susan’s stepmother could not tolerate the close bond that existed between Susan’s biological mother and Susan. I understood from this event that I was blessed to have both biological parents in my life and I would always cherish my family (Collier, Rosaldo & Yanagisako, 1982).
Quality of Marital Relationship and Stability of Blended Families
When I was around 8 years old, my mother gave birth to a boy. Everyone in my household got busy with taking care of the new member of our family. I initially used to feel happy that I would have someone with whom I would be able to spend a considerable amount of my time. The addition of the new member of the family filled my parents with joy and my relatives visited the house so that they could meet the new member of the family. With the passage of time, I started feeling jealous about my small brother as I felt that he was drawing all the attention. I felt that I was being neglected by my parents and it created a disturbing impression on my mind. I could not accept the fact that someone else was being more cared for than me. At school, I could not properly focus on my studies as this experience used to trouble me. My marks started deteriorating and my teachers could not understand the reason behind my declining grade. There was a parent-teacher meeting where my teacher told my parents about my results and asked them whether there was any such incident at home that was having an impact on my studies. They narrated the teacher about the birth of my brother and that even at home I was behaving in a strange manner (Dupuis, 2010). My parents told the teacher that even at home I was hardly interacting with anyone in the recent days. My parents now understood the reason for my strange behavior and when I came back home with them they confided in me that the new member needed more attention at this stage of life and that their love towards me had not got reduced to any extent towards me. The following week when I was taken to the home of my grandparents, they told me that the addition of a new member of a family can only increase the joys and happiness in our life. It cannot decrease my happiness and it can only add happy moments in my life.
When I visited my grandparent in the weekend they showed me their marriage pictures and I got to know from them that they got married off at an early age. My grandmother had just completed her secondary education when she was forced into matrimony. My grandmother wanted to pursue her studies further but she was not allowed to do so in her family. I came to know with the help of personal conservation that the people who were born in early 1940 used to get married off before they turned 25. The average age when the women used to get married was 22 (Superu.govt.nz., 2015). Most of the mothers at that time in New Zealand was hence young and they used to have many children. My grandmother was relating to me how it proved to be difficult to support all the three children that they had. The people at that point of time had a conservative mentality and the position of the women was confined to the household. They were not allowed to work outside and they were thought of to be inferior as compared to their male counterpart (Duncan & Bowden, 2004). The personal conversation that I had with my grandmother revealed to me how she was badly treated by her in-laws as opposed to the present age when the women were given superior position in the societal structure (Pearsoned.co.nz., 2010). She told me that as compared to that age my mothers were free to do whatever they wanted and were given a lot of freedom in the society. My mother had completed her higher studies at the University of Auckland and it shows the kind of support that she got from her family that enabled her to complete her education. She went on to do a job as a Product Development Technologist at a reputed firm in New Zealand (McKenzie, 2006). She told me that the technological advances made have made it a lot easier to communicate in the present age as compared to the yester years when it was extremely difficult to communicate. Social networking could be made use of in the present age for communicating that was not available in the previous era.
New Zealand has a long history of anti-Asian racism and they are ill-treated by the native people of New Zealand. One of my aunt was Chinese and she told me that she had to face a lot of discrimination in the society and was often subject to scapegoating. They are treated with a lot of suspicion in the society and unfair treatment is meted out to them. She narrated accounts to me that revealed how she was denied jobs owing to her Asian origin (Hekupu.ac.nz., 2016). The Chinese people came to New Zealand in 1860’s and there are various anti-Chinese measures in New Zealand that were thrust on them. Between the year 1879 and that of World War Two the Chinese were subject to race-based amendments that included a poll tax. The Chinese immigrants were charged nearly $ 20,000 so that they could enter the country. Even the Chinese who were born in New Zealand were not entitled to the pension and they were even denied the right of voting. There were tight immigration rules that stopped the Chinese men from bringing their families to New Zealand. The figures of the State Service Commission reveal that only a meagre 2.1 percent of the leadership position within public service is held by the people who are of Asian origin. My aunt narrated how she used to feel self-conscious in the society as she was of Asian origin (McKenzie, 2006). The people in New Zealand do not want to talk about race and this makes things more difficult for the people belonging to ethnic minorities in New Zealand. The people who are Asian have to go through highest level of the racial discrimination which is followed by the Maori and the Pacific peoples. My aunt said that she was discriminated against in the workplace and when she was within a public place. She said that in New Zealand she had to face discrimination when she had to deal with police and the courts. The employers of New Zealand are supposed to provide a working environment that is safe for the employees (Superu.govt.nz., 2015). My aunt narrated to me that the employers cannot provide the working environment that can help the Asians in working freely. I understood from this that racial discrimination was an evil force in the society and it should be eradicated for bringing about development in the country.
I noticed that after my brother started to go to school, he used to feel depressed. I asked him whether there was anything that was bothering him but he refused to say anything. We had to take my brother to the psychiatrist and it was revealed that he had been physically abused by the guard at school. Child abuse costs New Zealand a sum of around $2 billion within each year. There are a large number of children in New Zealand who are victims of child abuse. Studies have brought out the fact that the abused children have more chances of experiencing problems like delinquency and drug abuse. This incident had a great impact on his mind and mentally shook him (Superu.govt.nz., 2015). He had to be taken to the counsellor from time to time so that he could recover from the mental agony that was inflicted on him. I used to stay beside my brother all the time so that he could recover from the shock. The positive parenting strategies helped him in overcoming the pain of his life and he slowly started behaving in the normal manner. I used to play with my brother and keep him engaged so that his mind does not drift back to the painful memories that was greatly affecting him. This experience taught me that family support can greatly help an individual in rising over situations of crisis in life. It can act as a source of great mental strength and the strengthening of this basic unit can greatly help an individual in his life.
Family is the main institution that can help children in socializing. Family helps in raising children and the development of children can take place with active support from the family. The concept of family is going through a lot of changes and a large number of children within New Zealand have to face familial transformation. Nuclear family structure helped me in getting a stable environment at home that facilitated my development. My parents helped in my sound emotional development unlike children belonging to broken homes. Remarriage had become common in society and the evolving of blended family structure was a barrier in the way of emotional development of children. Individuals who are in the second marriage learn with the help of their first marriage but the integration process has a negative impact on the children. The stepmother of Susan could not accept the bond that was between Susan and her biological mother and this greatly hampered their relationship. I felt blessed because I could live at home with my biological parents and I felt that my family was valuable. I felt jealous of my small brother owing to the fact that the person was getting all the love from my parents. My grandparents however made me understand that my brother can only add to the happiness in my life. New Zealand has to bear incidences of anti-Asian racism and the Asians are treated badly by the people of New Zealand. The abuse that my brother had to face made him suffer a lot but the strong family support helped him in rising above the difficult circumstances of his life.
Reference List
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Robinson, K., & Jones Diaz, C. (2005). Diversity And Difference In Early Childhood Education: Issues For Theory And Practice: n/a. McGraw-Hill Education (UK).
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