Writing Improvement Exercises I
15 points
Instructions: The best way to complete these exercises online is to download the file and save it as an .rtf document. Type your changes directly into the worksheet, directly under each sentence and preferably in a color other than black.. Re-save your document, and then upload it through the Blackboard link.
Audience Benefits and the “You” View. Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.
- We have prepared the enclosed form that may be used by victims to report identity theft to creditors.
- To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to our website and fill out the customer information required.
We are now offering RapidAssist, a software program we have developed to provide immediate technical support through our website to your employees and customers.
Conversational, Professional Tone. Revise the following sentences to make the tone conversational yet professional
24. Per your recent email, the undersigned takes pride in informing you that we are pleased to be able to participate in the Toys for Tots drive.
25. Pursuant to your message of the 15th, please be advised that your shipment was sent August 14.
27. BTW, Danika was totally ticked off when the manager accused her of ripping off office supplies. She may split.
Positive and Courteous Expression. Revise the following statements to make them more positive.
30. Employees are not allowed to use instant messaging until a company policy is established.
32. Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.
35. Everyone in the department must begin using new passwords as of midnight, June 15. Because of flagrant password misuse, we find it necessary to impose this new rule so that we can protect your personal information and company records.
Bias-Free Language. Revise the following sentences to reduce gender, racial, ethnic, age, and disability bias.
39. A little old lady returned this item.
40. Serving on the panel are a lady veterinarian, an Indian CPA, two businessmen, and a female doctor.
41. Each nurse is responsible for her patient’s medications.
Plain Language and Familiar Words. Revise the following sentences to use plain expression and familiar words.
42. The salary we are offering is commensurate with remuneration for other managers.
44. In a dialogue with the manager, I learned that you plan to terminate your contract.
45. Did your car’s braking problem materialize subsequent to our recall effort?